So right now I am in a foreign country - Canada to be exact. Vancouver, British Columbia to be more exact. Yes, they do speak English here and drive on the right side of the road so it is not much of an adjustment. But some things are different. Take the money. I went to the bank and gave them $380 and only got $378.23 back. Or was it $373.83? My sister assures me that this is a good rate of exchange so I believe her. The smallest bill is a $5. Less than that is a coin. There are Loonies and Toonies and you don't want to mix them up because one is a $1 coin and the other is a quarter (I think). And all the coins are shiny like they just got made a few minutes ago. How do they keep the coins so shiny? I must remember to ask somebody.
Also, in Canada you can get a ticket for going through an intersection when the light is yellow. In the US, if you stop on yellow, somebody will be in your trunk. I am trying to change my habits before I get a ticket driving my sister's car. And of course, pedestrians rule. It is easier to turn right on red than right on green because of all the pedestrians crossing the street.
Canadians are polite to a fault, very laid back most of the time. They love to say "No worries" when an American might be saying @#!*%$. I might like it here except that everything is so expensive. Some of the most expensive things are candy and ice cream because you shouldn't be eating those anyway. I would probably lose weight if I lived here long. I would be definitely giving those things up and not just for Lent. There are messages on the TV about what to eat and don't get either paper or plastic but be green and use re-usable sacks. Everything is re-cycled and use of any paper products is discouraged. Kleenex, paper towels and toilet paper are wickedly expensive. I know one could use a handkerchief but what is the substitute for toilet paper???
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Perchance to sleep
Last night at 10:30 PM, I decided I had had enough of mindless TV and games on Facebook. It was time for bed. So I took my night time meds, turned down the thermostat, turned up the electric blanket and crawled into bed with Betty (the cat) sprawled right in the middle of the bed. Unfortunately, I was having cramps in both feet, something that has not happened in several weeks. I was also shivering for unknown reasons. Eventually, I decided I was going to have to get out of bed in an attempt to get rid of the foot cramps. Betty, disgusted by my tossing and turning, had already abandoned the bed. So I got up at 12:30 AM, walked to the kitchen, ate a couple of chocolate chip cookies that I baked yesterday, turned up the thermostat and turned up the electric blanket and crawled back into bed. A few hours later, I was awake, burning up, afraid of spontaneously combusting. Off went the covers and off went the electric blanket. A cat (unknown name) came back in the bedroom and got on the bed. I tried to drift off to sleep again only to be disturbed by hissing and growling from the cat on the bed. Soon that cat jumped off the bed and the hissing turned to howling. I got up again, pillow in hand, ready to throw it at fighting cats. I only saw Maybelle heading off somewhere so I got my pillow and went back to bed. Then I fell asleep and had a dream that I was able to swaddle Maybelle up so she couldn't fight and got her close to Betty. Betty started licking Maybelle, treating her like she was her kitten. Before you know it, Betty was cradling Maybelle in her "arms" and all was well in kitty land. This dream was shattered by more cat fighting and the night was over.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Autism
Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction, problems with verbal and nonverbal communication, and unusual, repetitive, or severely limited activities and interests. This is the official "definition". But what does that mean for families?
The first time I saw Ryan and Caitlin, they were 2 1/2 months old. I remember thinking to myself that Ryan was autistic because he would not make eye contact. But then I dismissed that thought because, after all, he was only 2 months old. Maybe babies didn't make eye contact at that age (even though his sister did). At one, they were lagging behind developmentally but then, they were premature so maybe that was to be expected. They didn't talk or crawl at that age. By 15 months, they were standing holding on to the furniture and Caitlin was trying to take some steps. My husband and I were babysitting while the parents got away for a few days. The twins didn't seem at all disturbed by the absence of their Mommy and Daddy. And they didn't react at all when they returned. I thought this was strange but didn't know what to attribute this behavior to. I had learned something about autism in nursing school in the 60's but all that info has pretty much been dismissed today. So I really didn't know anything. But by the time they were 2, I was really concerned. I did some research on the internet and it didn't take me long to come up with the diagnosis. And when my daughter finally took the twins in for an evaluation, it didn't take long for her to hear the words -classic autism. Some parents of autistic children struggle for months or years to get a diagnosis but Ryan and Caitlin were obvious. If you think dealing with one autistic child is difficult, try 2 of the same age. The odds of fraternal twins both being autistic is about 3%. The chances of identical twins both being autistic is about 90%. So obviously, genes play a role.
The diagnosis of autism is almost like a death sentence. All the hopes and dreams for your child die. Each day that passes, the hope for a miracle diminishes.
Autistic children look perfectly normal. They are frequently beautiful. My daughter once said she wished they had Down's Syndrome because at least then people would be able to tell by looking at them that something was wrong. As it is, other people just wonder how these children can be so uncontrolled. They know no boundaries. Either one will walk up to a stranger and reach for their drink, camera, cell phone - whatever has caught their eye. It is difficult to take them out in public for such reasons. Caitlin was the first to talk. But she doesn't carry on a conversation like other children. She might repeat something she has heard on TV, i.e. "This program has been brought to you by public broadcasting". And she might say this over and over. If you ask her what she did at school she will probably just stare at you. She will not take a bath before 8 PM. She is good at math. She is a good speller. She can dress herself, but usually puts her clothes on backwards. She does interact with her younger brother. She has a sense of humor (rare in autistic children). She does not play with toys. She cannot pretend to have a tea party. There is no point in buying her dolls. She wouldn't be interested.
Ryan can talk but doesn't, unless forced to. He spends a lot of time alone in his room. He never makes eye contact. His sense of hearing is quite acute and he can be seen holding his hands over his ears when sounds are disturbing to him. He was about 6 before he was toilet trained.
What are the chances that either of these children will ever be able to take care of themselves or live alone? Where will they end up after their parents can no longer care for them?
I have my own theory about the cause of autism. Perhaps I will discuss this in a future blog. Once you are familiar with an autistic child, it is easier to recognize the signs in other children.
The first time I saw Ryan and Caitlin, they were 2 1/2 months old. I remember thinking to myself that Ryan was autistic because he would not make eye contact. But then I dismissed that thought because, after all, he was only 2 months old. Maybe babies didn't make eye contact at that age (even though his sister did). At one, they were lagging behind developmentally but then, they were premature so maybe that was to be expected. They didn't talk or crawl at that age. By 15 months, they were standing holding on to the furniture and Caitlin was trying to take some steps. My husband and I were babysitting while the parents got away for a few days. The twins didn't seem at all disturbed by the absence of their Mommy and Daddy. And they didn't react at all when they returned. I thought this was strange but didn't know what to attribute this behavior to. I had learned something about autism in nursing school in the 60's but all that info has pretty much been dismissed today. So I really didn't know anything. But by the time they were 2, I was really concerned. I did some research on the internet and it didn't take me long to come up with the diagnosis. And when my daughter finally took the twins in for an evaluation, it didn't take long for her to hear the words -classic autism. Some parents of autistic children struggle for months or years to get a diagnosis but Ryan and Caitlin were obvious. If you think dealing with one autistic child is difficult, try 2 of the same age. The odds of fraternal twins both being autistic is about 3%. The chances of identical twins both being autistic is about 90%. So obviously, genes play a role.
The diagnosis of autism is almost like a death sentence. All the hopes and dreams for your child die. Each day that passes, the hope for a miracle diminishes.
Autistic children look perfectly normal. They are frequently beautiful. My daughter once said she wished they had Down's Syndrome because at least then people would be able to tell by looking at them that something was wrong. As it is, other people just wonder how these children can be so uncontrolled. They know no boundaries. Either one will walk up to a stranger and reach for their drink, camera, cell phone - whatever has caught their eye. It is difficult to take them out in public for such reasons. Caitlin was the first to talk. But she doesn't carry on a conversation like other children. She might repeat something she has heard on TV, i.e. "This program has been brought to you by public broadcasting". And she might say this over and over. If you ask her what she did at school she will probably just stare at you. She will not take a bath before 8 PM. She is good at math. She is a good speller. She can dress herself, but usually puts her clothes on backwards. She does interact with her younger brother. She has a sense of humor (rare in autistic children). She does not play with toys. She cannot pretend to have a tea party. There is no point in buying her dolls. She wouldn't be interested.
Ryan can talk but doesn't, unless forced to. He spends a lot of time alone in his room. He never makes eye contact. His sense of hearing is quite acute and he can be seen holding his hands over his ears when sounds are disturbing to him. He was about 6 before he was toilet trained.
What are the chances that either of these children will ever be able to take care of themselves or live alone? Where will they end up after their parents can no longer care for them?
I have my own theory about the cause of autism. Perhaps I will discuss this in a future blog. Once you are familiar with an autistic child, it is easier to recognize the signs in other children.
Down by the river
One of my earliest memories of childhood is of standing with my mother near the river, watching the men from the hospital drag the river for the body of a little girl, five years old just like me. I was curious to see what a dead person would look like and worried that we were not close enough for a good view. Eventually, my mother turned to me and told me to go home and change my shoes as I had mud all over them. I was reluctant to leave, but I would never have argued with my mother. So I raced home for clean shoes and by the time I got back, the excitement was over. I guess that she just wanted to protect me from the harsh realities of death, but I always felt cheated.
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