Autism

Autism is characterized by impaired social interaction, problems with verbal and nonverbal communication, and unusual, repetitive, or severely limited activities and interests. This is the official "definition". But what does that mean for families?
The first time I saw Ryan and Caitlin, they were 2 1/2 months old. I remember thinking to myself that Ryan was autistic because he would not make eye contact. But then I dismissed that thought because, after all, he was only 2 months old. Maybe babies didn't make eye contact at that age (even though his sister did). At one, they were lagging behind developmentally but then, they were premature so maybe that was to be expected. They didn't talk or crawl at that age. By 15 months, they were standing holding on to the furniture and Caitlin was trying to take some steps. My husband and I were babysitting while the parents got away for a few days. The twins didn't seem at all disturbed by the absence of their Mommy and Daddy. And they didn't react at all when they returned. I thought this was strange but didn't know what to attribute this behavior to. I had learned something about autism in nursing school in the 60's but all that info has pretty much been dismissed today. So I really didn't know anything. But by the time they were 2, I was really concerned. I did some research on the internet and it didn't take me long to come up with the diagnosis. And when my daughter finally took the twins in for an evaluation, it didn't take long for her to hear the words -classic autism. Some parents of autistic children struggle for months or years to get a diagnosis but Ryan and Caitlin were obvious. If you think dealing with one autistic child is difficult, try 2 of the same age. The odds of fraternal twins both being autistic is about 3%. The chances of identical twins both being autistic is about 90%. So obviously, genes play a role.
The diagnosis of autism is almost like a death sentence. All the hopes and dreams for your child die. Each day that passes, the hope for a miracle diminishes.
Autistic children look perfectly normal. They are frequently beautiful. My daughter once said she wished they had Down's Syndrome because at least then people would be able to tell by looking at them that something was wrong. As it is, other people just wonder how these children can be so uncontrolled. They know no boundaries. Either one will walk up to a stranger and reach for their drink, camera, cell phone - whatever has caught their eye. It is difficult to take them out in public for such reasons. Caitlin was the first to talk. But she doesn't carry on a conversation like other children. She might repeat something she has heard on TV, i.e. "This program has been brought to you by public broadcasting". And she might say this over and over. If you ask her what she did at school she will probably just stare at you. She will not take a bath before 8 PM. She is good at math. She is a good speller. She can dress herself, but usually puts her clothes on backwards. She does interact with her younger brother. She has a sense of humor (rare in autistic children). She does not play with toys. She cannot pretend to have a tea party. There is no point in buying her dolls. She wouldn't be interested.
Ryan can talk but doesn't, unless forced to. He spends a lot of time alone in his room. He never makes eye contact. His sense of hearing is quite acute and he can be seen holding his hands over his ears when sounds are disturbing to him. He was about 6 before he was toilet trained.
What are the chances that either of these children will ever be able to take care of themselves or live alone? Where will they end up after their parents can no longer care for them?
I have my own theory about the cause of autism. Perhaps I will discuss this in a future blog. Once you are familiar with an autistic child, it is easier to recognize the signs in other children.